$$

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

when u try to caffeinate yourself and just end up increasing ur heart rate with no discernible changes in levels of exhaustion  

image

"

And when you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 18,000 times.

Intense shit.

"



bootykage:

bootykage:

bootykage:

yungflowergirl:

I truly go into housewife mode when im someones girlfriend like I will make u pancakes and bacon every morning and suck u up whenever u want

this a lie

im literally dating this girl

this a lie

she dont even know how to cook a pancake what is this

noelanilalin:

southernlist:

cloudcuckoolander527:

tokilladm:

What if colleges only made you pay the percentage of tuition that you failed, so if you got an average of 86 for the year you’d only have to pay 14% of the tuition, but if you got a 94 then it’d only be 6%. That way we’d be rewarding the success and even if you flunked the semester, you still wouldn’t have to pay for ALL of the tuition

You are the future. 

Please run for president

that would actually be amazing

"You’re tired of hearing about it? Think about how fucking exhausting it is living it."